


Scars that define us

by GOT_winner



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-30
Updated: 2020-01-30
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:26:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22479406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GOT_winner/pseuds/GOT_winner
Summary: This is an imaginary scene between Arya and Jon after they rejected Gendry and Daenerys respectively.
Relationships: Jon Snow/Arya Stark
Comments: 3
Kudos: 81
Collections: Jonrya Week, Jonrya Week: January 2020





	Scars that define us

Arya sat back in her warm bath and closed her eyes to sooth down her confusing mind. Her eyes betrayed her true emotion as a single tear rolled down her cheek. 

_“Be my wife. Be the lady of storms’ end”_

_“Nothing is worth anything if you are not with me”_

_“I am no lady. I’ve never been and never will_ ”

The conversation with Gendry still ringed in her ear making her head feels like it would explode. Arya tried to calm her mind repeating her mantra as always ‘ _Calm as water’ yes calm_. Gendry was her friend who she loved. But she is not ready to submit her life to Gendry. Her love for him is not that strong. In truth, Arya approached Gendry to experience sexual desire before she dies. In some ways, Arya had been always attracted to Gendry and from his eyes, Arya knew that feeling was mutual. The moment Arya saw Gendry again, she saw something in between them has changed. She enjoyed the teasing and flirting with him. With Sansa bitching about the Dragon queen, Bran being the tree god and Jon...She took a deep breath unable to hold the emotion that bubbled up in her chest. Jon who was once her favourite brother is now a king who submits North for love. He is not the brother she came to seek for same as she is not the innocent little sister he hoped for. Arya thought she will feel like Arya again once she enters Winterfell. But what a mistake she made by thinking that. Sometimes she thinks she should have gone kings landing to finish off her list as intended. At least then Jon should have got some relaxation after the battle of Winterfell. She shook her head mentally and focused on her breath avoiding any distracting thoughts focusing her mind and soul to enter into a void where she could relax.

Meantime Jon dragged himself to his room after he felt he will be thoroughly drunk if Tormund forces one more cup to his throat. A Drunk Jon was never he wanted to show the outside world. He smiled as he remembered a small memory of Jon and Robb getting drunk for the first time in Winterfell stable and somehow ended up in Winterfell armoury and then being escorted by Ser Rodrick to father. His smile fell as he thought of another revelation that made his life upside down. Yes, Ned Stark was never his father. He was never a bastard and he was never a Snow. He is a Targaryen and he fucked his own aunt. He sat down in the nearby chair and supported his head with his hand as he massaged his temple. _You know nothing Jon snow_. Now he is the heir to the iron throne and a threat to Dany. He sighed but his thoughts got interrupted as he saw Daenerys peeking through his door and asking if he is drunk to which he politely refused. Somehow they ended up in kissing but Jon suddenly stops and steps away feeling ashamed.

Daenerys looked dejected at his action and said in a low voice “ I wish you'd never told me. If I didn't know, I'd be happy right now. I try to forget. Tonight I did for a while, and then I saw them all gathered around you. I saw the way they looked at you. I know that look. So many people have looked at me that way, but never here. Never on this side of the sea”

He wanted to shake her by the shoulder and wanted to scream at her that he is not interested in it. But he calmly repeated the thought aloud “You are my Queen and I don’t want the throne”

Daenerys smiled bitterly and asked “You can say _nothing._ To anyone, ever. Never tell them who you are. Swear your brother and Samwell Tarly to secrecy, and tell no one else. Or it will take a life of its own, and you won't be able to control it, or what it does to people! No matter _how_ many times you bend the knee, no matter what you swear! I want it to be the way it was between us.”

Jon nodded his head but there is one problem though “I owe Sansa and Arya the truth.” He then crouched in front of her taking his hand and said “You are my queen. Nothing will change that. And they are my family. We can live together”

He expected understanding in his queen’s face but rather he saw a fury in her eyes as she left him but not before her cold reply “We can. I’ve just told you how”

Now he is truly miserable. He wants to talk this out to someone. Safest option was to reach bran but he doesn’t want advice he wants a shoulder. Yes, Arya, she will never betray her even though she is changed and now more inclined to hear Sansa than him. But he is confident that Arya will never turn her back after all she still kept needle for all these years. Needle made him think of why he is drunk at all today. The feast was in honour for the Hero of Winterfell who surprisingly did not feel to grace her presence. Well, now that’s unacceptable. So he got up and somehow stumbled upon Arya’s chambers. He enters the room as he didn’t receive any answers. Upon entering, he notices Arya’s clothes being laid around in the floor and he panicked thinking whether any wildling has stolen Arya. Rage burned in his heart as he frantically search every nook and corner and then finally ended up in her area where her bathtub is been placed. In the tub filled with water lies Arya naked with her eyes closed with a serene expression. He looked closely at her features and realized for the first time that she is a woman now. And gods she is beautiful. Jon has often heard Wildlings talk about Arya as the fiery wolf that they wanted to steal and Northerners whispering how uncanny her resemblance with Lyanna stark. Jon could now understand why his father went for a war for Lyanna Stark if she is anything like Arya. After all, it already happened; Northerners marched together under one banner to save Arya Stark from Ramsay even if it turned out to be Jeyne Poole. He has already taken knives to his heart for her.

“Jon” Arya’s voice startled him from his thought. He saw Arya getting up from her tub as he inspected her lithe form unashamedly. Drunken state of his mind has quite cleared any thoughts of decency and couldn’t help himself not to touch the scars that marred her pale skin. His hand traced the scars in her elegant neck as if someone squeezed her throat so hard.

“Who the hell did this“ Jon asked loudly with fury in his eyes. Arya flinched at that but soon composed and replied “It was the Night King” Jon then hugged her naked body and kissed her neck with affection. Jon felt her frozen in his hands as his eyes travelled down to her pair of breast that stood out like pearls but that didn’t stop him further tracing the angry red lines that marked on either side of her ribs. His hearts stop as he traced an ugly scar in her flat stomach as if someone had twisted the knife in there to make her suffer. Oh God, Why did he join the bloody watch? That was the most stupid decision he had ever made in his life. He couldn’t help but blame himself on his poor choices. He lamented thinking that all the scars that marred her otherwise perfect skin is all because of his selfishness to achieve greatness.

“Who did this Arya?” Jon looked to her eyes with an intensity that generates a shiver in Arya’s body. She felt vulnerable as Jon questioned her. What would he think if he knows the truth? So Arya replied truthfully but concealing any details of House of Black and White “She is dead. I killed her”

Arya slowly looked over Jon hoping against hope that he will not look at her with worry as Sansa did when Bran told her about her list and thankfully Jon’s face was devoid of any emotions as he nodded and he seems to be satisfied with her answer. Yet again, Jon surprised him by reaching for the towel and helped her to dry her skin as a man did for a toddler and then he helped her put a robe that covers her nakedness. Arya is not new to nudity. Being trained as a courtesan under the great courtesan Black pearl, she is well aware of all the desires even if she has not experienced it till the night before the battle. But somehow her cheeks flushed as she saw Jon’s eyes roaming through her nude body.

“Arya” Arya heard him call but the way he calls her was different. Was it the tenderness in voice or is it longings in his eyes, she didn’t know what made her place her hand across his cheek and then traced his scar across his thick brows.

“What is it Jon” She whispered to him with all her love and devotion. Jon looked conflicted for few moments before a determined expression set in his handsome features.

“Do you still love me?” His question made her surprised. And her expression turned to a scowl on the absurdity of the question. _Really, Jon, it’s just for you I crawled back to Winterfell. It’s just the memory of your smile that had made her live through all the adversity. Only you._ She doesn’t know what possessed her to do the next thing which she did. Her hands crawled around his hair dragging his head down to her as she attacked his lips viciously as a true she-wolf. To Jon’s credit, he too kissed back with a desperation he didn’t know he had until now. His hand grasped her waist roughly never letting her move an inch away from him. It was a rough kiss not all like she had with Gendry. Arya felt a joy that he has never experienced for a long time. But her happiness has dissuaded into emptiness as she remembered who he is. Jon is her brother and she kissed him. What will her father and mother think of her? What he heard next almost made her think she lost her mind but one look at his face she knew it was not any figment of her imagination to curb her need to justify her kiss with Jon.

“I am not your brother “Jon announced and then the next moment his lips were on her as they stumbled towards her bed. Arya lay there, shocked and wide-eyed at Jon’s proclamation. He crawled above her looming over her form like a dragon above a wolf and then explained his secret lineage. She listened without interruption as he poured out to her about his real name and his dilemma’s with the dragon queen’s relation. Arya couldn’t begrudge him on his account with Daenerys as Sansa. Jon was always considered as a disgrace to House Stark and dirt in her father’s virtues. So who could begrudge Jon for falling to a beautiful woman who viewed Jon as a King but not a bastard? But unknowingly Jon too broke the Dragon queen’s heart as she did with Gendry. Somewhere along the conversation, they had ended up naked. They do nothing other than tracing the scars that marked their body and their soul as these are the one that made them…that define them…


End file.
